Kim Ttol-ttol "Gay couples have secret relationships, so it's easy to break up..."

"Secret dating known only to two, makes sustaining relationships difficult"

YouTuber Kim Ttol-ttal revealed the vulnerability of relationships faced by same-sex couples and the realistic reasons why they dream of marriage. In a video on the YouTube channel 'Annyeonghan Saem-yo' released on the 15th, Kim Ttol-ttal met actor Jung Hyuk to have a conversation about the theme of marriage.

The video was uploaded with the title 'Can 36-year-old gay Kim Ttol-ttal and woman-seeker Jung Hyuk be friends? | Single Men and Women ep.15'. After Jung Hyuk visited Kim Ttol-ttal's house and finished touring it, the conversation continued in earnest over a meal prepared by Kim Ttol-ttal.

Mentioning the dating patterns of gay couples, Kim Ttol-ttal pointed out that most relationships are conducted in secret due to social perceptions. He said, "Since most gay couples actually date in secret, both legally and otherwise, breaking up is too easy." This means that because the relationship is not revealed to the outside world, there is a lack of social mechanisms to mediate or maintain it when conflicts arise.

He continued to explain a facet of LGBTQ+ dating, saying, "There is a saying that gays find it hard to last more than a year. Since they date secretly just between the two of them, if things go wrong, they can just break up." He explained that the nature of secret dating, where there is little room for the gaze of those around them or social networks to intervene, acts as a factor that hinders the continuity of the relationship.

"The reason for envying the intense entanglement of heterosexual responsibility"

Comparing it to the way heterosexual couples maintain their relationships, Kim Ttol-ttal expressed his desire to be strongly bound to a partner within an institutional framework.

"Don't heterosexual people continue their relationships because people around them know they are dating, so they pay attention? Isn't it also common to live together forcibly, even if just for the sake of the children because they are married?" Kim Ttol-ttal said, revealing his inner desire to be intertwined with a partner through social and institutional links. This means he wants to secure the stability of a relationship through legal and social protections.

Jung Hyuk asked Kim Ttol-ttal, "Haven't you had enough of life as a single person? Now you want to get married. You are sufficiently prepared. But isn't it a bit harder to meet someone due to conditions and environments?" He then followed up by asking, "Is that why you want to marry in a place where legal systems are required?"

To this, Kim Ttol-ttal replied, "I want to become intensely entangled." When Jung Hyuk reacted jokingly, asking, "Is it like an inescapable noose where you have to split assets 50/50 during a divorce?", Kim Ttol-ttal also drew laughter by retorting, "To the point where it's a bit difficult when breaking up."

"A wedding wearing a white tuxedo, a dream like a party"

Kim Ttol-ttal was also uninhibited when asked about specific dreams regarding marriage. When Jung Hyuk wondered if he would wear a dress at the wedding, he explained, "No. There is a culture where gays wear white tuxedos and get married in white tuxedos."

Answers continued regarding the form or name of the wedding. Kim Ttol-ttal replied, "It is technically 'marrying into a family' (jang-ga), but people just say they are 'going to the bride's house' (si-jip-gan-da). Because you have to go to a man." The wedding he dreams of is closer to a free-spirited party rather than a grand wedding hall. Kim Ttol-ttal expressed his hope for a wedding as a joyful festival rather than a formal event, saying, "I want to have an outdoor wedding that feels like a real party. Having some daytime drinks as well."

The journey of Kim Ttol-ttal, who has voiced the LGBTQ+ community

Kim Ttol-ttal began his activities as an LGBTQ+ YouTuber after coming out regarding his sexual identity through a YouTube live broadcast in 2018. Since then, he has approached the public through web variety shows such as 'Hong Seok-cheon's Jewelry Box' which he appeared in with Hong Seok-cheon, and has been voicing opinions on LGBTQ+ rights and life while sharing his daily life.