"I played the harsh role instead of my mother": The heavy responsibility and tears of eldest daughters

Within a family, the position of the "firstborn" sometimes carries a weight that goes beyond mere birth order. In a recent broadcast on the YouTube channel Dongchimi, participants opened up about the responsibilities they had to shoulder as the eldest son or daughter in their respective families and the life fluctuations they experienced in the process.

"Big brother will pay for it"... The decision of the eldest son who created the Cheonghak-dong scholar

The role of the eldest son, who is responsible for the family's livelihood, sometimes forces him to prioritize the family's well-being over his own personal dreams. Recalling his childhood born at an altitude of 900 meters on Jirisan Mountain, Kim Bong-gon stated that the decisive factor that allowed him to stand in his current position was the sacrifice of his eldest brother.

At the time, the main source of income for the household was the production of kimchi using 'sanjuk' collected from the mountains. While his older brothers maintained the livelihood through hard labor, Kim, who dreamed of studying abroad to pursue academics, requested help from his brothers at the age of sixteen. Due to the family's financial situation at the time, it was difficult to afford a certain amount of monthly expenses, but the eldest brother made the decision to support his study abroad funds, saying, "We couldn't do it, but you should try."

Thanks to this support from his brother, Kim was able to go to Jeonju to encounter the world. He shared that he was able to walk his current path by operating a village school based on Confucian studies and gaining various social experiences, such as pansori, album activities, and appearing in films. He added that his eldest brother's decision was a great blessing that changed his life as the youngest.

"I scolded my siblings instead of my mother"... The burden on the shoulders of the eldest daughter

While the eldest son often takes on the role of holding decision-making power in the household, the eldest daughter sometimes performs the role of a "protector," filling the void left by parents and looking after younger siblings. One participant recalled how, during her childhood, she had to accept the promise to look after her younger siblings when her mother began working to make a living.

She confessed that the family's situation was so difficult that everyone lived together in a single room, and she had to volunteer for the "harsh role" of strictly disciplining her siblings in place of her mother. Because she was strict while checking her siblings' studies and daily lives, she also experienced conflicts with them, but this stemmed from a sense of responsibility in the hope that the children would pull themselves together and grow up properly.

This tendency continued after she became an adult. She emphasized to her own children that "regardless of whether they are the first, second, or third, each must live on their own," striving not to pass on the same burden to them, though she noted that she still appears to look after her children as an eldest child unconsciously.

Lost childhood and complex feelings toward her older sister

The hardships experienced as an eldest daughter did not end with mental responsibility but also led to physical exhaustion directly related to survival. One participant recalled how, in her childhood, she and her older sister would take the bus together from early dawn to go to school instead of her mother, who sold cabbage at Garak Market.

In particular, she shared a dizzying experience during her first year of elementary school when she fell asleep on a bus during a field trip and ended up at the terminal station. Recalling the situation where she was lost and panicked at a young age, she expressed gratitude to the older sister who led her at the time, noting that she was only able to return home after pleading with the bus driver.

However, the pain experienced due to the sudden change in the family's economic situation left complex emotions in her relationship with her older sister. She confessed that the guilt and apology she felt while watching her older sister, who was left alone, suffer through the situation where the family had to leave for the United States due to bankruptcy, still remain in a corner of her heart. She conveyed that while she sometimes experiences disagreements with her sister now, her gratitude toward the sister who protected her during their childhood remains unchanged.

Source: original video (YouTube)