"Husbands who bring wives down"... Diverging choices of women who gave up their careers

Stories containing the experiences of women who had to leave glamorous careers behind to devote themselves to childcare and family, along with the psychological conflicts they face in the process, have been shared. In a conversation released through the YouTube channel 'Dongchimi', the specific moments of choice that women who were at the top of their fields had to face after marriage and childbirth were discussed in detail.

The weight of a career left by a son's question, "Mom, why aren't you famous?"

Broadcaster Choi Yeon-ri, who was highly active as Korea's first VJ, handling nine TV programs simultaneously, recalled the hiatus she experienced after marriage and childbirth. She explained the situation where she had to focus on childcare, unlike the days when she worked day and night when her child was young. In particular, an anecdote from after her child grew up garnered empathy from many. When her child was around the third year of middle school, while attending a fashion show with the child of a famous actor, the child asked a question to the effect of, "Mom, why aren't you famous?" Seeing the reaction of her child in contrast to the reporters chasing her at the scene, she confessed that she felt a sense of sorrow as the time and career she had given up in the past flashed before her eyes.

Choi Yeon-ri had previously emphasized to her students that "eating at home and giving birth is not everything for a woman" and that they should have jobs, but she mentioned the situation where she herself had to lay down her career for childcare. She expressed that she has recently felt confusion between past values, such as "one must become a woman who cooks well," and her current thoughts, stating that the ability to respond flexibly depending on the situation is necessary.

"I brought my wife down" — A pastor's confession and a woman's self-esteem

During the conversation, a case also emerged of a husband who limited his wife's social activities. One pastor revealed that when they were dating in the past, he was concerned about his wife exercising her talent at places such as a music-related institution, so he prevented her from continuing music and made her stay at home. He admitted that it was his choice to isolate his wife from social activities and have her remain a 'home person.' In response, the cast members continued the conversation by asking questions about the wife's self-esteem and social role.

In this process, discussions continued regarding the impact of marriage and childbirth on a woman's identity. The cast members mentioned the social atmosphere in the past where women would quit their jobs upon marriage or had to give up their femininity for their children. In particular, one participant shared the experience of having to live with a gender-neutral appearance due to childcare during her most beautiful years, expressing the sense of unfairness and loss she felt at the time.

Between childcare and career, changing standards of choice by era

The cast members also noted that the patterns of women's choices are changing according to the changes in the era. While in the past there were many cases where careers were interrupted upon marriage, an analysis suggested that among women in their 30s and 40s recently, choices appear where they voluntarily adjust their careers for their children or change jobs to devote themselves to childcare.

One participant cited a case where a wife wanted to run an art academy but chose to stay at home dreaming of being a wise mother and good wife, suggesting that rather than going all-in on childcare, it is important to maintain one's own life while supporting the child's basic livelihood and growth. The conversation concluded by capturing the complex concerns regarding the difficulties of childcare, as well as the division of roles between couples and the social position of women that change with each era.

Source: original video (YouTube)