"I always had to stay within my mother's permission": Wife's anxious past drives excessive control over child

The MBC program 'Oh Eun-young Report - Marriage Hell' examined the behavioral patterns of a wife who excessively controls her child and the psychological background underlying such actions, focusing on how a parent's tendency to force behavior by offering limited choices affects a child's growth.

"Do only one of these two"... Arbitrary control beyond norms

In the video, Dr. Oh Eun-young identified "excessive control" as a unique characteristic displayed by the wife when dealing with her child. The wife was shown defining the child's behavior by extremely limiting choices, telling the child, "Do either this or that, only one of the two." Dr. Oh analyzed that this method is not a process of teaching norms to the child, but is closer to arbitrary and irrational standards set by the parent. It was pointed out that if these standards are excessively strict or irrational, the child will be unable to meet them.

'Anxiety' lies beneath the control

Dr. Oh Eun-young cited "anxiety" as the fundamental cause of such excessive control. The interpretation is that the anxiety a parent feels regarding potential situations that might occur when they cannot control a situation leads to a coercive attitude toward the child. In other words, the analysis suggests that emotional anxiety felt by the parent themselves lies behind the act of suppressing the child.

"Memories of always being rejected"... The wife's childhood as an adult

The wife's past experiences, which contribute to her controlling attitude, also became a topic of discussion. The wife confessed that she grew up in an environment where it was difficult to act without her parents' permission since childhood. She recalled being in a controlling environment where she was even suspected of having ADHD, having been told by her older sister that she was "chaotic and distracted."

In particular, a lifestyle pattern was mentioned where she had to move only within the scope of permission set by her biological mother and her stepmother. The wife revealed experiences of being scolded whenever she stepped outside the lines permitted by her parents, stating, "It was always no, and I was always rejected." This left implications regarding how these past experiences connect to her current controlling way of treating her child.

Source: original video (YouTube)