Father expresses remorse after son calls grandmother mother

A father expressed deep regret during a Dongchimi broadcast after his son, Hyeon-u, began calling his grandmother "mother" due to the absence of his mother during his early years. The man, who divorced in 2004, shared how his decision to leave the child with his parents in Ilsan led to the boy feeling a sense of deprivation.

A father's heart was broken by his son calling his grandmother "mother." During a recent broadcast of Dongchimi, cast members engaged in a candid discussion regarding divorce, family, and life choices.

"Grandmother, your mother is your mother, right?" A family collapses at a child's question

One participant shared painful memories of raising a child alone before deciding to divorce in 2004. Having married in 2002, he decided to divorce two years later, stating that he felt more relieved than regretful at the time. However, his heart grew heavy after the divorce as he thought of the child who carried his genes. When the child was about six months past his first birthday, the father found it difficult to provide care alone, so he left the child with his parents' home while living alone in Ilsan. Even during the marriage, his mother had been the one primarily responsible for the child's care.

While the child used to run and hug his father whenever he turned into the alleyway after parking his car, the situation changed as the child grew and began attending kindergarten. Because the mother's health prevented her from picking the child up every day, the child began to feel a sense of deprivation while watching the mothers of his kindergarten friends. One day, after receiving a call from a kindergarten teacher stating that "Hyeon-u is asking why he doesn't have a mother," the mother shared this with the boy. At some point, the child began calling his grandmother "mother." The father felt frustrated seeing the child call for his grandmother and asking to speak to "mother" when calling home.

This situation resonated even more deeply when the child was in the third or fourth grade of elementary school. The anecdote of the child asking his grandmother, "Grandmother, your mother is your mother, right?" made the mother cry at the time. It was heartbreaking because the child called her mother even though he knew she was his grandmother. "Thinking back now, I am a zero-point father," he said, expressing remorse for failing to fulfill his role during the lower elementary years when a mother's touch was most needed. He followed this by expressing both gratitude and apology to his son, who has grown up well.

"Marry carefully, divorce quickly": A lawyer's definition of divorce timing

The conversation transitioned into a philosophical discussion about divorce. One lawyer defined the timing of divorce based on her own experience. She confessed that after passing a professional exam, she married at age 29 as if completing a life task, but subsequently suffered from depression due to an illusion of success and a lack of insight into life. She cited three issues: her arrogance regarding passing the exam, her lack of insight into why she lived, and the fact that her life as a woman only truly began through marriage. After a 10-month struggle with depression that pushed her to the brink of life and death, she decided she must "live as myself."

She explained, "Marriage should be done carefully, and divorce should be done quickly," adding that if one can rebuild themselves after a divorce and feels no regret, it is a "divorce that must be done." Conversely, she added that if one continues to waver or breaks themselves down after a divorce, it is a personal problem. She emphasized that "how I rose up after the divorce is what matters," stressing that a choice must be made from a position of strength to avoid regret. She also mentioned that if one wanders aimlessly after a divorce, hoping for someone to hold their hand, there is a high possibility of repeating a pattern similar to their first marriage.

"No one was there when I woke up from surgery": Moments of enduring loneliness alone

The discussion continued with stories of isolation and the absence of family following a divorce. One participant cited the moment he felt the void left by family before undergoing a major surgery as the reason he decided to divorce after 21 years of marriage. He had to visit the hospital alone for the surgery, and he recalled the loneliness of feeling as though he had been born alone despite having a family. He stated that he decided to divorce quickly because he judged the situation to be no longer meaningful, given that he had to face the hospital alone despite having family.

In particular, he revealed an anecdote from a Dongchimi recording last year, expressing his resentment. He said that the moment he woke up from anesthesia after surgery, he could hear the nurse's voice in the recovery room looking for a guardian, but there was no one by his side. "As soon as I woke from anesthesia, I felt so sorrowful that I wanted to swear," he said, describing the situation where no guardian was present. At that time, he felt resentment toward his mother and husband, sharing his honest feelings about the psychological impact of the absence of family or the situation where family members are present but unable to look after one another.

Source: original video (YouTube)