"Children with good self-control have high self-esteem"... Advice to lighten the burden of parenting

A view has been presented that the key to increasing a child's self-esteem lies in 'self-control'—the ability to govern oneself—rather than unconditional acceptance. In a video featured on the tvN variety program "You Quiz on the Block," advice was provided regarding the psychological burden parents face during the child education and parenting process, as well as realistic discipline methods.

The source of self-esteem: 'Self-control' rather than control over others

The video explained the correlation between a child's self-esteem and parental control. While it is common to think that if parents control a child, the child's self-esteem drops, the explanation states that the opposite is actually true. The video mentioned, "Children who are good at self-control have high self-esteem." Using examples of cases where failing to govern oneself interferes with daily life, it emphasized that self-esteem increases when self-control is achieved, such as winning the battle against oneself and keeping schedules on time.

Discipline in public places: Separation methods through 'Time-out'

Realistic alternatives were also presented regarding the social gaze and the difficulty of discipline that parents experience when a child behaves unexpectedly during outdoor activities. Rather than forcibly restraining a child or scolding them in public due to awareness of others' eyes, it was recommended to utilize a pre-agreed 'time-out' method.

The video stated that before going out, it is necessary to convey specific rules to the child in advance, such as, "If a certain situation repeats, Mom will take you out and we will have some time to be apart for a while." It suggested methods such as taking the child to a space where people do not pass by, like the stairs of a department store or the hallway of a restaurant, and staying there for about 3 minutes. This method was presented as a way for parents to discipline their children without treating them harshly in front of others.

"The problem is wanting to be a good parent and raise the child well"

Perspectives on the purpose of parenting and the role of parents were also shared. The video mentioned that all parents are already good parents in that they basically love their children and strive to create a good environment. In particular, it pointed out that the desire to be a good parent and raise the child well actually increases the burden of parenting, stating, "I think the problem is wanting to be a good parent and raise the child well."

Since children are beings with a tendency to grow spontaneously and realize themselves, the remarks continued with the point that it is important for parents to remain as beings who create an appropriate environment. Ultimately, it suggested that rather than searching for a special answer, providing a basic environment while living with the child is itself the essence of parenting.