Marital titles can spark conflict and impact relationship respect

During a recent Dongchimi YouTube broadcast, participants discussed how marital titles and speech styles serve as measures of respect, noting that some wives feel insulted when husbands use casual terms like "Hey" or "Oi" instead of affectionate titles.

Even between spouses, who are the closest of relations, a single title can be a crucial factor that determines the temperature of the relationship. In a recent broadcast on the YouTube channel Dongchimi, the cast members discussed etiquette and titles between married couples, as well as the subtle psychological conflicts arising from them.

"Calling me 'Hey' feels insulting"... The weight of respect in titles

The cast members agreed that the title used to address a spouse is more than just a way to call them; it is a measure of respect. One participant expressed discomfort regarding her husband using "Hey" or "Oi" instead of affectionate titles since the beginning of their marriage. She shared an anecdote where her husband called her "Earth," claiming that "the husband is the sky and the wife is the earth," pointedly noting his carelessness by adding, "all the sky has done for the earth is provide thunder and lightning." She spoke candidly about the sense of insult felt when the desire to be respected by the person closest to her is lacking in their titles.

Another participant mentioned feeling a shift in the relationship when her husband, who had been careful to use polite language during their dating period, began accidentally using casual language. She explained that while the intimacy provided by casual speech was initially pleasant, she began to worry about the point where her husband's habitual use of casual language became unpleasant. The participants reached a consensus that wives value the respect they receive from their husbands above all else.

"Even saving names is sensitive"... Different rules for titles among couples

Preferred titles and the ways they are saved in phones varied among couples. One participant shared an incident where she was angry that her husband saved her name in his phone as "Hong Seung-yeon." When the husband countered by asking, "Then what should I save it as?", she replied that he should save it as "My Wife." The conversation continued with the explanation that the expression "My Wife" carries the meaning of being the only one among other names.

On the other hand, a case was presented where a husband saved his wife's name as "Countess" in his phone. This title contained a vow to treat her like a countess in the future once he becomes successful, as he has not done anything particularly special for her yet. Other titles chosen by various couples, such as "Honey," "Darling," or using names, showed different patterns of relationships. Specific examples were shared regarding how the psychological distance or intimacy provided by certain titles can change the quality of conversation. One participant also mentioned a case where a husband saved a phone number as "Vitamin."

Between polite and casual speech: Regarding the essence of 'respect'

Cases were also introduced where couples established a rule to "use polite language" to reduce arguments. This is an effort to maintain minimum etiquette toward each other by using polite language when emotions run high. One participant noted that "using polite language definitely reduces [aggressive] actions," mentioning that it helps in managing heightened emotions. Conversely, the image of couples who maintain a flexible communication style by staying in a middle ground between polite and casual speech was also depicted.

The conversation concluded with the point that the heart of "respect" underlying the titles is more important than the form of the title itself. The core message of the discussion was that titles are merely an outward phenomenon, and no matter the title, it cannot make a relationship whole if sincere respect for how one treats the other is lacking.

Source: original video (YouTube)